Best of Marketing Genius: Behind the Scenes of Branding

No doubt, you've heard such phrases as brand awareness and brand equity. If you've been visiting Marketing Genius for a while, we hope you've become familiar with other important terms such as brand positioning, brand essence and brand mission.

Recently, several of us Mapleonians reached a mutual conclusion: it is time to take you behind the scenes of the branding work we do. We feel that you are ready for it and that you've earned this special privilege.

So c'mon ... step around that stanchion, follow that rope, just beyond that black curtain. And--whoa--don't trip over that easel!

Good, you've arrived! Ready to have a look at what else goes on?

Ahh - here's the good stuff. This is what really goes on ... behind the branding.

Brandana Potential - an important measure of any brand, this determines how good (or bad) your brand logo will look on a 'doo rag (i.e., a bandana).

B.A.C. - brand alcohol content - the degree to which your brand appeals more strongly to slightly intoxicated consumers (i.e., at cocktail parties, tailgating and keggers). Not to be confused with BUI (more on that later).

Brandapalooza Index - an assessment of your brand's adaptability and potential usage on a concert T-shirt or tie dye.

Brand Stripper Name - a composite consisting of the name of your brand's first pet (typically a pet dog or cat) plus the name of the street that your brand grew up on - mine happens to be Buffy Lincoln, for the record. You must always check this before you launch any new brand.

Brangelina Factor - a predictor, used to measure the probability that your brand will become "adopted by" the Hollywood elite crowd. (Will it become trendy in LA? Is your brand logo likely to become tattooed on Angelina, for example?)

Brandy Warhol Syndrome - inevitably your brand will be given its 15 minutes of fame. Is it ready? What would Andy Warhol do with it? How would he shoot it, or paint it?

Only small doses of this powerful new knowledge are permitted. That's enough for today. We'll show you more next time.Yeah, we had fun, too. You can just find your way out of the backroom. Careful as you go, now. You might be feeling a little light-headed. It's probably just those SprayMount fumes.

[Originally published November 2007]